Thursday, February 19, 2015

Getting Real

So my cousin Bethe challenged her readers to "get real" for a second on their blogs. Social media sometimes gives the biggest appearance of fraudulent lives being led. You get a small glimpse into a persons day or week, but that's it. That perfectly captured moment doesn't have sound, or show the moment right before the photo or the the moments right after. It doesn't show the mom wearing her pj's while the baby is perfectly dressed. Since the boys were born, one of the funniest comments I get is "You make it look so easy." Well, dear readers (ha! Stephen Bell) let me just be real with you for a second.

It's not easy.

And its by far, not pretty.

I sometimes feel so mentally scattered and exhausted that when I do magically get them both to nap at the same time, while the others are at school,  I just sit and stare and don't even know where to begin.

I try to take each day in stride. I feel like I have a pretty good balance for the stage I'm in.

But the other night. I. LOST. IT.

It was ugly. Like ugly cry, yelling, crying more,reality check tone of voice, and  i may have thrown a laundry bag. It was not a pretty moment. I did not make having five children look easy. I did not making being a mother look desirable. I'm sure single people would have left my house, had they witnessed my tantrum, and said "NEVER having kids".

So let me share some things leading up to my explosion.

I have been trying so hard lately to teach the girls how fortunate they are. Not to be wasteful, overly picky, respectful of their things and those around them. They each have chores that are required of them. But they also have many rewards, because I know they are great kids. They have hearts of gold and they are respectful and kind and gentle some of the time and I see that.

But this moment, just all of it at once was too much. We were just winding down for the night and they were asking for a movie on a school night after dinner. Everyone started getting settled on the couches and I looked around and saw dishes, clothes dropped here and there, toys scattered on every available surface,  lots of "mom I don't know where my uniform for tomorrow is" and "I don't know where my snack bag went" and it not being a second thought that Mom will do it or find it.

And I Snapped. TV was off and they all got a really extreme version of what Mom's actually do all day long while they get to escape to new environments. How I do not look forward to walking around picking up the same exact series of things every morning once they leave for school, or seeing the same pile of nick knacks on the stairs instead of taking them up and putting them away and wondering how in the world do they think their clothes magically appear clean each day. Full hearty lunches in their backpacks each day, when children all around the world are thrilled to have a piece of bread or fruit for the DAY, if they are even that fortunate that day. Asking me every day to go to ToysRUs, but not bringing home their jackets, lunchboxes, library books and it being no big deal that "oh well, I have other ones, or mom will find them if she cares." AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

After my loud lecture. I had to go cool down. I overheard my husband talking to them and saying "You're mom is the best mom in the world" (What amazing grace. I sure didn't deserve that right then and they probably didn't believe him in that moment.) "Your mom loves you so much and it is not easy to have 5 children to care for. She thinks about one or all of you in every single moment and action of her day."

It is hard, people. Whether it is one or five. It is hard to raise children that are selfless in our self-centered society. Its hard to care so much. I'm sure it would be so much easier to wake up and say "Eh, I don't care. " But what a disservice that would be to them one day when they are all mothers, and don't know how to teach their own children respect and responsibility and selfless thinking.

So as Bethe concluded, and every parent can agree, parenting is a like a marathon. A very, very long marathon. So I'm lacing up my shoes again today and running a little further. 

What about you?? Are you brave enough to share your "getting real" moment?? 

Here's a post that was super encouraging to me. 

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