Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Coping mechanism

Well to say that this time around has been different would be putting it lightly. I have been sick since the moment that stick said "pregnant" it seems. My normal "go go go"attitude has been greatly diminished into a "just make it through the day" substitute. I don't even know my own self these days.

I was thrilled to hit that second trimester mark and notice the almost immediate shift in energy and nausea. My tummy popped and I look like a pregnant person. So I took on the world that first week. Cleaning out cabinets, closets, conquering the insane stack of mail that I had shoved under my bed and trying to find myself under the piles of to do's that had stacked up figuratively and literally. I was rockin and rollin. I should have known better than to get really serious and start digging through boxes in the garage. Two days later--full on sinus infection set in and back to bed I went. Ugh!!!!! I told my mom all this does to me is make my brain work even more overtime and create more and more lists that have to be done before the babies arrive. Hello voice activated checklists on my phone!! Where was that feature when I was pregnant last time??? Resting and relaxing is not my foretay. Especially with the thought from last pregnancy of preterm hospitalization and NICU life and all that came with that. I feel like I'm in a constant prepared mode for whatever may come, though my true hope is that we make it to term without even a hiccup, I go into labor at the appropriate time and am able to do a vbac, (Vaginal birth after cesarean) and most of all that I get to bring my babies home together and immediately. 

God, I know you hear my heart cry and I know your plan will be perfect. 

So through all of this I have consciously been aware of thanking God and modern society for two key things: indoor plumbing ie. Hot water, and my wonderful bathtub. I have spent so many HOURS in that thing this year already. Truly my coping mechanism. 

I have my next appointment Tuesday and am anxious for it because then I can schedule my ultrasound! What do you think we are having?


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