unanswered questions for God
This week has been one that I wish I could rewind and skip past most of. Last week we found out that some dear friends of ours, who were expecting their first child, were going to have to be hospitalized for the remainder of their pregnancy (she was only 19 weeks) due to some complications that had arisen. OUr hearts sooo went out to them and we made the trip up to the hospital on Saturday night to extend whatever encouragement we could muster. My heart just broke for them to have to go through what I had just endured and for even longer! Then Monday morning we got a call that she had had the baby. I have never in my life felt so distraught for a friend. Some of my friends have gone through some major things in their lives that I have been so sad for them but this just cut straight to my heart. Because as a parent I can't imagine ever losing one of my children and not having them in my life. ANd with my high risk pregnancy it was just too close to home for me. Oh my heart still aches for them and probably always will. Those are the kind of days that I wish life was never supposed to have and never DID have. I don't understand God's plan at all in situations like those, and though I know He has a bigger plan...I will definitely be in line asking WHY??? on that one forever. Why do people who want more than anything to have a child, not be able to have one, yet others are getting pregnant right and left and aborting just as quick. Why does God allow those pregnancies ever to happen??? Why can't He just reverse the situations and let the ones who want and deserve have the child? And why does He allow a child to be formed in a womb if He knows the end result is not to be born? I know the answers to some of these questions already but this is my selfish heart crying out saying Why God...why isn't life fair??? Why can I have two beautiful girls formed from one egg and my friends can't be given the joy of one child.